February 28, 2009

  • Trailer Park

     

    Tonight be the Trailer Park Dinner.

    Little happens in Huron, SD, so we tend to make things happen.

    Tonight we celebrated the birthday of Mother Hofer, and to recognize this most momentous event we had a Trailer Park dinner at the Hofer compound.

    Mother Hofer was crowned Double Wide Diva.  Ya had to be there.

    For the event I made:

    White Trash Shepherd's Pie...and

    Spamloaf.

    I am soooooooooooooooooooooo ashamed.

    But not really.  Cuz I just be a trailer park kinda guy.

    In Sterling...of course.

February 27, 2009

  • Winterish

    Current temp: -10F

    Current wind chill: -30F

    It snowed again.

    I have a shitty chest cold.

    But I still got a sense of humor.

    Enjoy.

    EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS

    1. A man comes into the ER and yells ...' My wife's going to have her baby in the cab',  I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the  lady's dress and began to take off her under- wear.  Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one.

    Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco


    2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,'. . . I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient.

    Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA

    3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a Wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

    Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

    4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. ' Which one ?'. .. I asked. 'The patch; the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it !  had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

    Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA

    5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'

    submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis , OR

    6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . .' So how's your breakfast this morning?'

    'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly.  I can't seem to get used to the taste.'. . . Bob replied.   I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a  foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

    Submitted by Dr . Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit ,

    7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,

    entered ....It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read . 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said.....'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'!

    Submitted by RN no name

    (I would note that any physician who actually wrote such a note would likely have his ass sued off.)



    AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB , I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams... To cover  My embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.  The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said. .' I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'   She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . .' No doctor, but the song you were whistling was . .' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.' '


    Dr. wouldn't submit his name

February 20, 2009

  • TGIF

    Apparently somebody declared this "Ride Dr. B's Ass Day"...and not in the good way.

    They're all about to find out why it's good to be the Boss.

     

February 17, 2009

  • When Life is Boring...You Get Zen

    Zen Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

     
    1.   Save the whales.  Collect the whole set.
    2.   A day without sunshine is like ... night.
    3.   On the other hand, you have different fingers.
    4.   I just got lost in thought.  It wasn't familiar territory.
    5.   68.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
    6.   99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
    7.   I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
    8.   Honk if you love peace and quiet.
    9.   Remember, half the people you know are below average.
    10. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
    11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
    12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
    13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
    14. Support bacteria.  They're the only culture some people have.
    15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
    16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
    17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
    18. Get a new car for your spouse.  It'll be a great trade!
    19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
    20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
    21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
    22. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis?  Raise my hand...
    23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
    24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
    25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
    26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
    27. Hard work pays off in the future.  Laziness pays off now.
    28. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
    29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
    30. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
    31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
    32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
    33. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
    34. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
    35. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
    36. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
    37 Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
    38. Light travels faster than sound.  That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

February 16, 2009

  • Let There Be Loot!

    Perhaps not so surpising, but I did find a few things to buy at auction.

    DSC03339

    I actually purchased this at an auction several weeks ago.  It is a watercolor by A.D. Engley-Beek, a female artist that painted from the 1800's until her death in 1952.  This landscape is one of a series commissioned by a Colorado Hospital in the 1910s.  It's titled "View of Silver Lake from Ward C - The Rockie Mountains".  The paintings were later sold to the Yankton Sanitorium (Yankton, SD).  They were decommissioned and sold from the Sanitorium in the '80s into private hands.  This is one of the pieces in what has become known as the "Lost Dakota Collection".

    DSC03341

    Just to give you a sense of the size of the piece.  I happen to be 6' 1".

    DSC03343

    The mat is somewhat yellowed but the watercolor is in good shape.  The frame is also custom and probably worth more than the watercolor.

    DSC03344

    Like the hand was going to stop Special Someone from taking a picture.

    DSC03346

    The Loot! (I'm not sure why the had so many Monster boxes at the auction.)

    DSC03347

    Silver plate serving pieces.  I don't usually buy silver plate but they were cheap and good quality.

    DSC03348

    Special Someone bought several lots of costume jewelry for the "pearls".  He can use them when he makes bridal bouquets.

    DSC03349

    Aha! What's in this treasure chest? (Tigerwood Maple veneer with brass banding - circa 1910)

    DSC03351

    Silver! (Sterling this time)

    DSC03353

    Romance of the Sea by Wallace Silversmiths.  8 dinner knives, 8 dinner forks, 10 salad forks, 2 teaspoons and a serving spoon.  The set is incomplete.  I'll probably get 6 more teaspoons, a slotted serving spoon, a meat fork and two butter spreaders and call it good.  All of those pieces are available on Replacements.com.

    As an aside...Sterling silver flatware used to sell quite cheaply at auction.  The necessary maintenance discouraged many and most people just don't entertain formally like they used to.  The rising price of silver has driven up the prices at auction as many people buy these sets to sell to smelters purely for the silver.  I feel like I rescued these little guys from the fire.

    DSC03360

    An art nouveau sterling silver bracelet with 18 karat gold accents set with amethysts.  Special Someone was pissed because it's too small for his wrist!

    DSC03362

    This is a plique-a-jour bracelet.  An enamel and wire application on a glass bangle.

    DSC03364

    It's actually a stylized peacock.  The bracelet is also probably art nouveau/art deco era.

    DSC03366

    Victorian gold stickpins set with semiprecious stones or pearl.

    DSC03367

    DSC03371

    An "early" pewter spoon.  You can barely see the hallmark in the bowl where it connects to the handle.  I told the auctioneer that I wanted a closer look at the "ugly" spoon.  He said "You mean the 'early' spoon."  I said "Yeah, like I said, the 'ugly' spoon."  We went back and forth several times.  The point, of course, is that an "early" spoon is worth more than an "ugly" spoon.  It didn't matter.  No one else really wanted the damn thing.

    DSC03381

    Taxco Mexican sterling silver brooch set with abalone shell.  Why buy this?  Because it was purty and cheap.  Just like me.

     

February 13, 2009

  • Going...Going...Gone!

    Not from Xanga.  Just gone from work and going to Sioux Falls this weekend.

    For an auction.  Go figure.

    I've got a Sterling agenda.  As in I'm after sterling silver.  I'm feeling the need to polish.

    Dinner at the Tea Steakhouse with Special Someone tonight.  Anybody in the neighborhood just stop on by!

February 10, 2009

  • Let's Hear It For The Boys

    I was in Chicago last weekend for a meeting.  It was my delight to visit with Mark, Jon and Kevin for Saturday evening.

    DSC01147

    Kevin, Mark and Jon...The Three Musketeers.

    DSC01148

    Mark in a Kevin Karl Sandwich.  Could he be more erect?

    DSC01149

    And a rare Jon/Kevin moment.  Ahhhhhhhh...how sweet.

    DSC01151

    And just for Jon, Kevin and Mark...this and the following is a Hunt Cabinet.  It happens to be 9' 10" in height.

    DSC01152

    DSC01153

    DSC01154

    DSC01155

     

  • Ugly Sweater Party

    I just got these photos from Special Someone so I thought I'd share.

    DSC03142

    Everyone brings a dish (or two).  There was enough food for an army...and 10 days of leftovers.  Tommy and I each made meatballs.  Competition ensued.  I won...of course.

    DSC03143

    Jeni in oven mitts...a sight never seen before.

    DSC03144

    Brian's ugly sweater...a Belly Sweater?  Selected from the 60 years of clothes stashed at the family farm.

    DSC03145

    That's me with my back to you.  Ugly Sweater is a relative term in Gayland.

    DSC03146

    Michael here snitched something from his mother's closet.

    DSC03148

    Not surprisingly the bar was popular all night.

    DSC03152

    Melissa's metallic fuzzy sweater.  She sparked if she got too close to the crock pots.

    DSC03153

    Jeni shows how big the "one that got away" was.

    DSC03154

    1970s anyone?

    DSC03156

    Notice the appendage hanging below Dick's belt.  That would be...

    DSC03158

    DSC03161

    DSC03167

    Papa Wayne plays bartender.

    DSC03168

    DSC03171

    The young man and woman are new arrivals from India.  They are also in their 2nd month of an arranged marriage.

    DSC03173

    The finalists for Male Ugly Sweater.

    DSC03174

    The finalists for Female Ugly Sweater.

    DSC03178

    Steve wins by a nose...or two.

    DSC03181

    This little crocheted number won for the ladies and took Grand Prize.  It should be noted that this sweater was a gift...and only made a couple of years ago.

    DSC03182

    The winners collect their prize...Boone's Farm!

    DSC03187

    Host Tommy's new (old) toy.

    DSC03190

    And his other Summer ride.

     

February 9, 2009

February 6, 2009

  • A Ghoul by any other Name

    Not so very long ago (at a Beaujolais Nouveau party) someone approached me and told me that I just HAD to consider buying a certain historical home in town.  The current long-time owner was having difficulty maintaining the property.

    It should be noted that I expressed interest in the house when I first moved to town but the owner was not ready to leave the family home.

    Even less long ago I got a coroner's call on a Friday night.  It was a typical "found down" at home unattended death.

    Guess which house I went to.

    And now the owner's son has called to see if I'm interested in purchasing the house.

    Sometimes I even creep me out.

    And with that I'm off to Chicago.  Be good kids...I'm watching you.