September 16, 2008

• Blah

  That pretty much epitomizes life right now.  Not much going on.  Work is slow.  I’ve actually been reduced to cleaning my office.

  I’ve got boxes stacked in one corner that I haven’t opened since I started this job 10 years ago.  I’d forgotten what color the carpet really is.

  Friday is the “Walk A While in a Woman’s Shoes” fundraiser for the local family violence program.  I picked out my shoes today.

  Think Judy Garland/Dorothy meets Whore and you’ll get the picture.  And I’ll be sure to get pictures for sharing.

  (Our CEO walked into my office while I was…practicing…for Friday.  He just shook his head and walked back out.  You’d think he’d learn by now.)

  And for your entertainment…

  The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers.
  A lady stood and walked to the podium.  She said, ‘I have a Praise.’ Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.  The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.’
  You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.  Pat continued, ‘Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain.  We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation.  They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim’s scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.’
  Again, the men in the Congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim.  She continued, ‘Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctor’s say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely.’ All the men sighed with relief.
  The pastor rose and tentatively asked if any one else had anything to say.
  A man rose and walked slowly to the podium.  He said, ‘I’m Jim and I want to tell my wife, the word is sternum.”
  

  • 5:29 pm
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