October 29, 2008

• Random

  I am very happy to know that the Fraud Squad at the originating institution from which I get one of my credit cards is really on the ball attempting to protect me from Fraud.

  I am also mildly annoyed when they prohibit a purchase because they think potential fraud is taking place.

  Look at the spending history folks.  I only use that card (Amazon Visa) to make purchases from Amazon.com.  The purchases take place on about a 4-6 month interval.  The amount of purchase is pretty routine.

  Enough rant.  Especially since it’s all about me.

   

  Just for fun…

  HUMOR FOR  LEXOPHILES 
  

  ( Lovers of Words)
  
  

  I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.  Then it hit me.
  

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  Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
  

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  Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?  He’s all right now.
  

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  The biggest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
  

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  The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
  

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  To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
  

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  When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. 
  

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  The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  

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  Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar and got twelve months?
  

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  A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement and became a hardened criminal.
  

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  When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
  

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  The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
  

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  The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
  

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  If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
  

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  A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
  

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  A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
  

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  A will is a dead giveaway.
  

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  Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
  

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  A backward poet writes inverse.
  

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  In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
  

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  A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  

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  With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
  

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  When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
  

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  The guy who fell into the upholstery machine was fully recovered.
  

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  You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
  

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  Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
  

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  A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘Taint mine.
  

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  A boiled egg is hard to beat.
  

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  He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
  

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  When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
  

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  If you jump off a Paris bridge you are in Seine.
  

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  When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.
  

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  Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

  • 4:26 pm
  • 4 Comments