Just Wrong

I took a stroll through our local Kmart today on a quest for kitty litter, a new litter box, bottle water and pepsi.  As I wandered down the main aisle I saw something rather vexing.

I passed a big lawn and garden section.

Followed by the Christmas display.

Followed by the Halloween display.

Christmas.  In September.

It's just wrong.

I ordered the Beaujolais Nouveau from my wine vendor today.  Three cases to be delivered on November 21st.  Party on the 22nd.  I'd suggest that some of you drag your sorry asses to South Dakota for the experience.  I'll even open up the guest rooms.

One of the iconic members of our community passed away last night.  He was my first lawyer in Huron and one of the first people to welcome me to the community.  It was a sorry day when I diagnosed him with lung cancer.

My cat was rather displeased that I left her behind when I went to San Diego.  To insure that I don't forget her on future trips she chewed the shit out of my leather laptop case.  I swear I'm going to get the little rat some dog chew bones to work on.

Fall is finally here.  Let the hallelujah chorus begin.

RedRum...RedRum

So...

The alarm goes off (on Wednesday morning) and, as always, I hit the snooze button.

And I hit it again 9 minutes later...

And I hit it again 9 minutes later...

And then I looked at the clock and it said 5:22 am.

Whazzit?

Oh...Fuck.  I was supposed to be up at 5 so I could be on the road at 6.

Even running late I managed a good hair day.

The trip to Sioux Falls for my flight to San Diego was largely uneventful.

That is...if you don't count the semi trailer just slightly ahead of me.

The one that hit the deer.

It wasn't RedRum...it was Red Rain.

Luckily most of the spatter missed my truck.  The windshield wipers took care of the rest.

The weather in San Diego is delightful.  The company is boring.  Most of my "homies" skipped this meeting.  They are apparently rather busy being soccer Daddies and Mommies.

Fucking heteros...don't they know they are letting me down with all this breeding?

I just got back from a reception for which the entertainment was an aged pathologist playing selections from Schubert and a classical guitarist.

Luckily a cute bartender with a liberal hand in dispensing the Sparkling Wine dulled the pain.

I did, however, learn some new tricks with prostate today.  And NOT from the cute bartender.  You pervs.  Who else could get excited about immunohistochemical stains for p63, racemase, c-Kit and CD117?

It should be noted that there are several 'Mos amongst the attendees at this meeting.  I sat next to one of them today.

Actually...he sat next to me.  I think we exchanged all of four sentences.

I'm going to suggest to the planning committee that next year they organize a Friends of Dorothy reception.

Something tells me I'd be the only one that would show up.

Geez...

Fun and Sun...

Well...at least sun.  In the morning I'm off to a meeting on the warmer coast.  Next post from San Diego where I'll be attending CAP '08, The Pathologist's Meeting.

Now why does that sound so much less fun than Dragoncon or Comicon?

Friday Fun

For me, anyhow.  Little Sister in Houston has been without power since Saturday.  Special Someone is without water since the broken water main hasn't been repaired.

Shortly I'll be off to Walk a While in a Woman's shoes.  Pictures will be forthcoming.

And for your amusement...

And then the water broke...

Actually the water main.   Special Someone now has a lovely little bubbling brook in front of his house.  Unfortunately he has to dismantle a 5' retaining wall before they can start digging a trench.

He's taking it surprisingly well.

I figure that will end about the time they give him the estimate for the repair.

I just ordered 100 turkeys.  Betcha don't hear that everyday.

Blah

That pretty much epitomizes life right now.  Not much going on.  Work is slow.  I've actually been reduced to cleaning my office.

I've got boxes stacked in one corner that I haven't opened since I started this job 10 years ago.  I'd forgotten what color the carpet really is.

Friday is the "Walk A While in a Woman's Shoes" fundraiser for the local family violence program.  I picked out my shoes today.

Think Judy Garland/Dorothy meets Whore and you'll get the picture.  And I'll be sure to get pictures for sharing.

(Our CEO walked into my office while I was...practicing...for Friday.  He just shook his head and walked back out.  You'd think he'd learn by now.)

And for your entertainment...

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers.
A lady stood and walked to the podium.  She said, 'I have a Praise.' Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.  The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him.'
You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.  Pat continued, 'Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain.  We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation.  They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.'
Again, the men in the Congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim.  She continued, 'Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctor's say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely.' All the men sighed with relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if any one else had anything to say.
A man rose and walked slowly to the podium.  He said, 'I'm Jim and I want to tell my wife, the word is sternum."

You don't bring me flowers...

So I'm going to where the flowers are.

Off to Sioux Falls for the weekend.  Special Someone's floral wholesaler is having a Floral Workshop this weekend and the boif and I are going.  By Monday I'll know all the latest trends in Fall and Winter Weddings.

And of course...there's the free booze and appetizers.

I'm also giving the boif his birthday present.  We're both signed up for hour long massages on Saturday afternoon.  No Happy Endings included.

Unless we make our own, of course.

Is it Friday yet?

About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.  As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart.  Nice children you have there.  Are they twins?'  

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins.  The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7.  Why the hell would you think they're twins?  Are you blind or just stupid?'  

So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am.  I just couldn't believe that you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

Carnies make better Lovers

Mother...at her best.  Giving directions.

Roxy steps in to lend a hand.

Melissa hard at work in the Indian Taco stand.

Yours truly.  After 12 hours in the booth the world felt a little...sideways.

Mother making change...

Brian puts in an order.

Wrong side of the fan...

That's Smokie in the back.  He's also known as Wiener and Jeremy.

Mother tells Special Someone to quit f***ing around with the camera and get back to work.

And that's all Folks!

TGIF

For a short week it sure as hell seemed awfully long.  But now...on to the weekend!

Today is Special Someone's birthday.  He's 38...although he'll fervidly deny it.

He sent me the following pictures from the fair.

This was the rather Hot Carnie running the carnival ride behind our food booth.  Ya gotta love a boyfriend that not only doesn't mind Window Shopping...but also sneaks pictures for MY enjoyment!

Tomorrow is the Foundation Humanitarian Golf tournament.  I'll be playing 18 holes while Special Someone mans the beer cart.  If you've ever seen him drive a golf cart...all I can say is be very, very scared.

Have a great weekend all!